Imagine you meet someone interesting at a friend’s party, and you’ve exchanged numbers. You want your texts to stand out and create a spark, but what do you say?

Flirting over text can be a blast. It can help you add excitement and fun to your conversations. In today’s world, where we often chat through screens, knowing how to flirt via text will not only make your messages more fun, it could actually be a make or break moment for your new connection!

Whether you’re just starting to get to know someone or want to add some spark to an existing connection, your texting game can make a big difference. In this blog post, we’ll share simple tips and tricks to help you flirt like a pro over text.

Start By Saying Hi

Kick off your conversation with a warm and casual greeting to set a positive tone. A simple “Hey there! How’s your day going?” or “Hi! What have you been up to today?” can go a long way in breaking the ice. This approach shows that you’re approachable and genuinely interested in starting a conversation.

According to Dr. Darcy Sterling, a licensed clinical social worker and relationships expert, when you’re flirting over text it’s not as simple as turning on the charm all at once. Flirting that way can be like flipping a switch, which is confusing and possibly off-putting for your texting partner. It can help, she says, to think of flirting more like a dial that you slowly turn up over time. Start small and turn it up only if they’re receptive.

A positive attitude is contagious—your good vibes will likely make the other person feel happy and excited to chat with you. By keeping it light and friendly, you create a comfortable space for the other person to respond.


  • “Hey! How’s your day going?”
  • “Hi there! 😊 What are you up to?”

Give Genuine Compliments

A sincere compliment can make a big impact; it lets them know that you’re interested and not afraid to show it. Instead of generic praises, focus on something unique about the person you’re texting. Maybe they have a great sense of humor, a captivating smile, or a passion for something that really stands out. Let them know what you genuinely appreciate about them.

A heartfelt compliment not only makes the other person feel good but also shows that you’re paying attention and genuinely interested in who they are, not just trying to play the field.


  • “I love your smile in your profile picture!”
  • “You always know how to make me laugh.”

Use Emojis

Emojis are a great tool to make your flirty texts more engaging and expressive. They help convey your tone and emotions, adding a playful and lighthearted touch to your messages. Emojis can help the other person understand if you’re joking, teasing, or being charming.

For instance, a wink 😉 can suggest a flirty vibe, while a heart ❤️ can show affection. Some others that flirty texters tend to send are the “see-no-evil” monkey 🙈, the “eyes looking” 👀, and the smiling devil 😈. These all add a little mischief to your messages, so sprinkle them in when you’d like to be a little more playful.

Other emojis are understood to have an overtly sexual meaning. A flirty emoji can make your messages more exciting, but sending an eggplant might not get the reaction you intend.


  • Are you always this charming, or is it just with me?😉
  • I think you might just be my favorite notification. 🙈

Ask Open-Ended Questions

When you’re flirting over text, asking open-ended questions is a powerful way to keep the conversation lively and engaging. Instead of questions that have a simple “yes” or “no” answer, try asking questions that encourage the other person to share more about themselves.

For example, instead of asking, “Did you have a good day today?” ask, “What did you do today that made you smile?” This approach not only keeps the conversation flowing but also shows genuine interest in the other person’s experiences and thoughts, helping to build a deeper connection.


  • What’s something about you that you think I’d find surprising? 👀
  • What’s your favorite way to spend a lazy weekend?

Be Playful, Not Sexual

Don’t be scared to have fun and let your personality shine! One great way to do this is by being playful in your messages. You can gently tease or share light-hearted jokes to create a warm and engaging atmosphere. The goal isn’t to put your date down or to hurt their feelings, so keep it lighthearted and pay attention to their reaction.

For instance, if they mention a funny incident, you might playfully tease them about it or make a clever joke to keep the conversation light and enjoyable. This approach not only shows that you’re paying attention but also helps build a connection by highlighting your playful side. While this can go a long way to build your connection, we recommend using this approach sparingly, especially early on when you’re still getting to know one another.


  • “I bet I could beat you in a game of [favorite game].”
  • “If you keep being this cute, I might get distracted all day.”

Share a Little About Yourself

Opening up about your interests and hobbies is a great way to create a connection and make your flirty texts more engaging. When you share what you’re passionate about, it gives the other person a glimpse into your world and invites them to share their own interests too.

Whether it’s talking about your love for hiking, your favorite TV shows, or a hobby you’re really into, these personal tidbits can spark interesting conversations and help build a bond. Plus, it shows that you’re open and genuine, which is always attractive.

It can be easy to get caught up talking about yourself sometimes. When you’re flirting over text, be sure to pull the conversation back around to them. This is also an easy way to work in an opportunity to ask them on a date.


  • “Do you like art? I’ve seen lots of museums, and I think you’d fit right in with the masterpieces.”
  • “I’ve been having a great time learning how to cook. I’d love to make you a meal sometime”

Know When to End the Conversation

Pay close attention to their responses when you’re flirting over text. Are they replying quickly and enthusiastically, or are their messages becoming shorter and less frequent? If they seem less engaged, it might be a sign they need a break or they’re not feeling the spark.

If they start to seem disinterested or if their responses are lukewarm, it’s a good idea to give them some space. This shows you respect their boundaries and aren’t just pushing for more conversation.

For example, you might send a message like this:

“I can’t stop thinking about your smile. Would love to see it in person over coffee sometime! 😍”

…and receive a response like one of these:

  • “Hey, that’s so nice of you to say! I really appreciate it. Coffee sounds great—I’m always up for hanging out with friends!”
  • “Aww, you’re so sweet! Coffee sounds nice, but I’m really swamped with work right now.”
  • Hey! A coffee date sometime would be fun. I’ll let you know when I’m free?”

This is subtle, but reading between the lines can help you determine whether to give the conversation a break. If they seem busy, distracted, or just generally uninterested in romantic connection, take it as a sign. While these responses don’t necessarily communicate disinterest, it’s still a good idea to step back a little. If they’re interested, they’ll respond when they’re ready.

End the conversation on a high note. Wrap things up while the chat is still lively and enjoyable. This leaves them looking forward to your next message rather than feeling exhausted by the conversation. A good way to do this is to say something like, “I’ve got to run, but I’ve really enjoyed chatting. Let’s catch up later!”

By knowing when to end the conversation, you keep the interaction positive and make them excited for your next text. This balance of engaging chat and respectful distance can help build a stronger connection over time.


  • “I have to go now, but I can’t wait to talk to you again!”
  • “I’ll talk to you later. Have an awesome day!”
  • “I’ll let you get back to your day. Chat later!”

Tips for Success

Be Yourself: Authenticity is incredibly attractive when flirting over text. When you’re true to who you are, your natural charm shines through, making your texts feel genuine and engaging. Avoid trying to be someone you’re not, as honesty is the key to building a real connection.

Timing: Timing is everything. Don’t overwhelm the person with too many messages all at once. Give them space to respond and keep the anticipation alive. Spacing out your texts shows that you’re considerate and have a life outside of your phone.

Patience: Let the conversation flow naturally. Don’t feel pressured to rush it. Enjoy the process of getting to know each other and let the relationship develop at its own pace. Patience not only shows respect but also builds a stronger foundation for your connection.

Confidence: Be confident but not arrogant. Confidence is appealing and shows that you’re comfortable with who you are. A confident text can be playful and flirty, but remember to keep it balanced. Arrogance can be a turn-off, so aim to be self-assured without coming across as boastful.