“Will you marry me?”
Even as a child, I imagined the day that some handsome prince charming would go down on his knee and ask me that magical question. It’s normal, I think, for girls to fantasize about these things. As soon as we’re taught to read, walk, and talk, we’re bombarded with movies, shows, and books that all center around one thing—finding The One. The fact that one day I’d meet my own special someone was as real to me as the clouds in the sky. It would happen. And we would live happily ever after.
As I’ve grown up, I’ve realized that love isn’t as easy as a Disney movie. The road to real, lasting love can be filled with heartbreak, pain, and doubt. Sometimes it takes a failed relationship (or two, or more) to teach you how to spot the right one when he comes along.
The first time I laid eyes on Rod (the man who would later become my fiance) I immediately noticed something special about him. The more we got to know each other, I grew increasingly confident that he was unlike any guy I had ever met before him. All of his expressions of love were indicators that he was The One I had been waiting for all my life.
On January 4th, 2022, my prince charming knelt on one knee and asked me that question I’d dreamt of my whole life. Despite all my imagining of that moment, I couldn’t believe it was real. It was happening! I screamed out a declarative “YES!” And we haven’t looked back since.
If you’ve been dating someone for a while, it’s only natural to wonder if they’re really right for you. Wondering if you’ve found The One? Here are my top 15 signs that you’ve got the guy of your dreams.
15 Signs He’s The One
#1. I can be myself with him.
If you’re dating and considering whether you should take your relationship to the next level, the first question you should ask yourself is: am I comfortable with him? For me, this aspect of our relationship was crucial. As an introvert, I have a tendency not to let many people ‘in.’ So, when Rod made the effort to get to know me—and I mean really get to know me—I felt safe to just be myself, faults and all. He has the ability to help me relax, open up, and pour my heart out without fearing judgment. Once you feel comfortable telling your partner everything, that’s when you know he’s husband material.
#2. He supports my goals.
Rod met me during a transitional phase in my life when I was struggling to figure out my future. Instead of trying to force me on to a path toward what he thought was best, Rod gave me the space and independence to develop and pursue my own goals. His support allowed me to develop myself, my skills, and my dreams while we designed our future together. He admires my ambition and is always there for me when I need a helping hand.
#3. He expresses his feelings for me.
I’m one of those crazy people obsessed with all types of personality tests. Myers-Briggs, Enneagram—you name it, I’ve done it! And now, so has my fiance. To this day, Rod jokes about all the tests he had to take to be able to ‘pass’ into boyfriend material. All jokes aside, there was a reason behind all the test madness, and that was to gain some insight into how Rod expresses his love. Not long into dating, I sent him the link to Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages online test. When he texted me back with his results, I couldn’t believe it. We shared the same top two love languages—physical touch and quality time—exactly in the same order. Knowing that early on helped me as our relationship progressed. Now, I know that each time he hugs me, reaches for my hand, or makes time for just the two of us, he is expressing his love for me. The feeling was 100% mutual.
#4. He loves spending time with me, even if it’s just a few minutes.
Between our busy work schedules, wedding planning, and other day-to-day duties, there are times when it’s hard to get quality time together. Despite whatever plans the day holds, Rod prioritizes being with me. Even if it means silently working our laptops, he likes to just sit next to me. If he goes out with the guys, he makes a note to invite me, even if he knows it’s not my thing. This makes me feel like he genuinely appreciates my presence. He’s never once made me feel like a burden.
#5. He’s my best friend and I’m his.
The day Rod told me that I was his best friend was almost more special to me than the first time he told me that he loved me. He didn’t just like me for how I looked, what I did for him, or what I could be—he just liked me for me. For me, that meant everything.
#6. My family loves him.
Rod knew early on that the approval of my family was something really important for me. But he was eager to meet them and to get to know the people who know me best. As soon as I saw Rod with my parents, all my anxieties washed away. My parents immediately loved him and I knew he was going to fit right in.
#7. He provides for me.
Rod is hard-working, generous, and career-minded—qualities that show I can rely on him to support a family. A man’s ability to provide financially is great. But, in the words of Shania Twain, “that don’t impress me much.” What made Rod stand out from the rest was his ability to provide for me emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. No matter what is going on in my life, I can count on him to make things better. At times when everything feels up in the air, he is my source of stability, grounding me when the road gets tough.
#8. I trust him.
They say with no trust, there’s no relationship. When we first started dating, Rod and I were long-distance. It was important that we maintained trust despite living in different countries. Rod knew I was still scarred from past experiences and was sensitive to any suspicions I might have initially felt towards him. Not only did he never break my trust, but he was patient with me as he taught me how to trust again.
#9. He’s genuinely interested in me.
Before I met Rod, I had met guys who were eager to fill a missing position in their lives. But when it came to dating, they were more interested in talking about themselves than actually getting to know the girl before them. Rod was different in that he was genuinely interested in me. He asked me lots of questions and still does!
#10. He’s not jealous.
Both of us have lots of friends—and some of them happen to be of the opposite sex. Unlike some men, Rod has never been the jealous type. He quickly embraced my guy friends and considers them friends of his own.
#11. He remembers the little things.
Wedding planning can be a lot of fun, but it’s easy to get caught up in the details. Just the other day, I was obsessing about which color of napkins to choose for cocktail hour. Sensing I was stressed, Rod pulled me in for a hug, kissed my forehead, and told me he had a surprise for me. From behind his back, he revealed an ice cream, cookie sandwich—which he knows is my absolute favorite treat on earth. All thoughts about napkins and colors immediately vanished as I bit into my sugary escape. When it comes to the little things—Rod just gets it.
#12. He accepts me for who I am.
After two years of dating, Rod has seen me through it all—the good, the bad, and the very ugly. I love dressing up, but it’s nice to know that Rod loves me even when I’m not picture perfect. Even with no makeup, night retainer in, and unbrushed hair—he still tells me I’m beautiful. (I know he’s lying, but still!)
#13. He (still) gives me butterflies.
Even though we’ve been dating for over two years, the electricity between us grows more each day. As I mentioned earlier, most of the time, I feel relaxed with him. But sometimes, he makes me feel like a nervous schoolgirl with a secret crush. When he passes behind me and touches the small of my back; when he loses himself in the music as he plays his guitar; or just the glimmer in his eyes when he looks at me a certain way—in those moments I feel nothing but butterflies.
#14. He never goes to sleep mad.
Like most couples, we’re no stranger to the occasional argument. We are always careful to speak respectfully towards each other and never lose our tempers. Likewise, we both believe in working through disagreements quickly with honest and open communication. He’s always patient with me, listens, and is eager to find a compromise that works for us both.
#15. I can’t imagine my life without him.
Love might not be as simple as it seems in movies. The road to real love can be complicated, messy, and confusing at times. But, when you find The One, suddenly everything starts to make sense. In my case, I realized that love shouldn’t be complicated—it should be comforting, uplighting, and kind.
For me, this ah-ha moment occurred with Rod, ironically, after watching a movie. The film was about a couple who grew together in both love and age. As the credits rolled, I realized that Rod was that man for me—the man with whom I wanted to grow old, spend my life, and be by my side forever. I could not imagine my life without him.
Is he the one?
Despite his undeniable charm and dashing good looks, my fiance is not a Prince Charming. He doesn’t wear a coat of armor or ride around town on a gallant white horse. And, just like me, he doesn’t always say or do the right things. But, unlike Prince Charming, Rod is real. He is a man of strength, kindness, and dedication to our love and our relationship. Loving him is my dream come true. Every relationship is different, but for me, these signs proved that he is undeniably The One. I can’t wait to begin our happily ever after.