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How to Tell People You’re Working with a Matchmaker

When Jill’s matchmaker introduced her to Mike, she couldn’t help but believe she had finally found The One. Not only was he incredibly handsome–but he was kind, funny, and called when he said he would. In Jill’s mind, Mike was perfect in every way.

The only problem? One pesky question that kept coming up every time she talked about him to her friends.

“So, how did you guys meet?”

Jill hated the question. She wasn’t a liar, but she wasn’t necessarily ready to share the truth either.

Although she loved Mike, it made her anxious to imagine her entire social circle knowing that she had hired a matchmaker.

Doubts swirled through her mind: What will they think of me? Will they judge me for not finding love on my own? Will they laugh at me behind my back?

The matchmaking stigma

There are lots of myths regarding professional matchmaking memberships. One of the biggest is that these services are only for those unable to find love on their own. That, obviously, couldn’t be further from the truth. People seek out matchmakers out of frustration, not desperation.

At its core, matchmaking is about taking control of your love life. Those who seek out matchmakers realize that it is the best way to save time, energy, and money while dating. Most importantly, matchmaking is the surest way to find real, lasting love in the modern dating market.

Despite finding positive results from matchmaking, many members continue to feel shame about using any sort of dating service. They might experience enormous success with their matchmaker yet feel like they’re holding a dirty secret from everyone else in their life!

It can be incredibly embarrassing, then, when a friend or family member asks about the origins of your relationship and you don’t know how to respond.

It’s important to remember that matchmaking is nothing to be ashamed about. Dating should be a happy experience that is free from any fear of judgment from others.

However, when the feelings persist, it’s helpful to know how to respond to curious friends.

How to answer the “How did you meet?” question

“So, how did you two meet?”

If that question makes you stop in your tracks, don’t stress. Thankfully, there are several ways to approach the subject–and it doesn’t always mean sharing all the intimate details of your private life.

If you’re asked about your relationship and you don’t know how to answer, here are a few fool-proof ideas of what to say.

Keep it vague

If the idea of telling friends and family that you are working with a matchmaker makes you want to hide in the corner, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Many clients prefer to keep things discrete, especially during the early stages of their dating journey.

Here are some responses that are so general, they’re guaranteed not to raise eyebrows.

“A friend in common introduced us. We’ve been inseparable ever since!”

To make it all sound even more casual, you can even name-drop your matchmaker! Matchmaking is something that’s gone on among friends since the dawn of time. By mentioning that a “friend” set you up, you’re able to authentically tell your story while avoiding unnecessary curiosity.

“We met through our mutual friend, Marie! She kept telling us that we’d be a great fit for each other. Finally, she set us up on a blind date. Turns out, she was right!”

“Our friend, Marie, introduced us! She’s a natural matchmaker.”

With these answers, you technically won’t be lying, either.

If you’re not ready to tell the whole truth, or you just don’t feel like getting into it at the moment, there’s no issue with keeping things vague. Honestly, your love life is no one’s business but you and your partner’s.

Short and sweet

Some clients tend to think that, because matchmaking is such a unique way to meet someone, they need to tell everyone that asks all the nitty-gritty details about their experience. Take the pressure off yourself–and the conversation–by just saying it how it is.

“We met through a matchmaker.”

The fact that you met your significant other in a unique way does not mean that you have to overexplain your story every time someone asks. Often the question “how did you meet?” is nothing more than a friendly conversation starter. It doesn’t necessarily indicate deep interest on the part of the asker. By just saying the bare minimum, you not only normalize your experience but avoid risking overwhelming the listener with details for which they didn’t ask.

Those who do want to know more about your story will ask. If that happens, don’t assume they are judging you. Sometimes, people will ask more questions just for the sake of keeping the conversation flowing. Assume their interest is purely curious and not out of a place of negativity.

At that point, feel free to elaborate–but don’t feel pressured to go into depth about your entire story. Only say what you’re comfortable saying and nothing more.

Embrace the originality

So what you didn’t meet your significant other in college, at work, or through mutual friends? You’re too original for that!

While meeting people the old-fashioned way tends to be the most socially acceptable way to find love, it doesn’t make for a very interesting story. Embrace your originality being forthright about working with a matchmaker.

The best part is, you don’t have to wait until you’ve found love to tell them! The fact that you’re trying something new is something of which to be proud. Sharing your progress with others might encourage them to take more risks in their love life, too.

Own your matchmaking experience with openness. Here are some ideas of what you could say to others even before you’re asked:

“Hey, did you know I started working with a matchmaker? I’ve already got my first date lined up next week!”

“I have to tell you about this guy my matchmaker set me up with! He’s so handsome and we really hit it off on our date. My matchmaker really knows what she’s doing.”

Matchmaking is a privilege and something that not everybody can afford. It’s also sort of a love-life power move. Make it clear that you were willing to invest for the best with these responses:

“I can’t afford to waste any time on guys who aren’t in my league. My matchmaker ensures that all of my dates are actually qualified to be with me.”

“There are so many women who just want me for my money. Working with a matchmaker is the safest way for a man in my position to date.”

These answers show that you are confident in your decision, that you take love very seriously in your life, and that your time is too important to waste. People will likely want to know more about you and what led you to this decision.

Even if all it took was your matchmaker making a simple introduction, the fact that you meet your significant through a matchmaker is unique in its own right.

So, if you’re out with friends and you sense the conversation coming to a lull, remember that you’ve got something special up your sleeve that makes your love story instantly more intriguing. Channel your inner Bonnie Raitt and give ‘em something to talk about!

Trust yourself

At the end of the day, you joined a matchmaking service for a reason. No, not because you were desperate or weren’t capable of finding love on your own. It was because you knew in your heart that matchmaking was the surest, simplest method to find your ideal match.

You know what’s best for you and your life. So, don’t worry about the opinions of others. Remember to trust yourself and your decisions.

Once you finally meet that special someone, you’ll know that what’s most important isn’t how you met, but that you’re together now.