Reflection: The First Step to a Great Life
We rarely take time out of our day-to-day lives to really dig deep and check in with ourselves. So, that’s exactly what I want you to do right now. Take a few deep breaths, and spend some time in reflection. Think about your life, decisions, relationships, triumphs and trials.
What life lessons helped shape the person you’ve become? What is most important to you as we move through this new decade? Do you have any hopes or dreams? Are there plans you can implement right now to start moving the needle in that direction? Is there a bad habit you need to quit? Do you want to fall in love? Get married? Start a family?
Reflection and Response
Change doesn’t come easily. In fact, it often goes against our very nature, but it’s a necessary part of life. After you’ve completed a thorough evaluation and reflection of your life thus far, it will be easier to make concrete plans for a better future.
What needs to fundamentally change for you to make room for love in your life? Maybe there’s an ex you need to let go of, or a heartbreak you haven’t fully healed from. Perhaps, 2020 just beat you down a few too many times.
COVID-19 has certainly been a worldwide wake up call. Life is short. Now is the time to be brave, bold, and confident enough to take those first steps. Your matchmaker can help you nurture the positives in your life and create a solid foundation for you to find love.
Make this Year Count
Step outside your comfort zone and make this year worthwhile. We only have so many trips around the sun, don’t you want to spend them living your dreams?
Do you have your eye on someone new? Is there a colleague you want to get to know better? Valentine’s Day is only a week away; gather the courage to send them a card or small gift.
If you’re in the early stages of a new relationship. you don’t want to overwhelm your partner by going all out before they’re ready. Open a dialogue, ask them what they think of the holiday and what sort of expectations they have surrounding it. Share your feelings as well, you’ll avoid a lot of awkwardness and embarrassment this way.
If you’re single, gather your single friends and go do a fun activity like Ax Throwing or Top Golf. Host a dinner party or game night. Try to avoid places where couples are likely to be engaging in public displays of affection. If you send yourself flowers to work, the last thing your self-esteem needs is to witness a proposal occur at the next table over.
Stay in and spoil yourself with your favorite take out and a nice bottle of wine. Treat yourself to a day at the spa. Self-care is your first line of defense.
Many of our single clients report feeling excessive loneliness when they don’t have someone to share Valentine’s Day with. But, I have an insider tip to bring you a bit of peace and solace.
Often, this happens because one party desperately wants to celebrate it, but the other party perceives it as a frivolous, made-up holiday. This leads to conflict and disappointment. I always coach my clients to shower your partner with love and affection regularly, not just when you feel a sense of obligation.
Whether you’re happily loved-up, completely alone, or exploring a budding relationship, Valentine’s Day can be stressful. No matter how you choose to spend it, afterward, do a little reflection and make a plan for how you hope to spend the next one.
World’s Worst Dating Advice
Rules are meant to be broken. It’s a new decade, so take the worst dating advice you’ve been told throughout the years erase it from your memory.
There is an entire genre of self-help books dedicated to dating advice, much of which is solid, data-based research, but an equal amount is opinion-based and anecdotal. As they say, don’t believe everything you read.
Love is Magical
Soulmates, twin flames, love at first sight, happily ever after—these are the types of magical love we strive for from our very first bedtime story.
Real life love is much more practical. Don’t get me wrong, it has its magical moments when you swear the earth stops spinning. But true love, the kind that lasts forever, is a choice that must be made every single day.
Love is a verb as much as it is a noun.
The worst dating advice I ever heard was: If there is no chemistry on the first date, it’s not worth pursuing.
Attraction is not limited to our primal instincts, even though it may feel that way sometimes. As feelings of love and admiration develop, so does that magical, unexplainable spark.
Don’t write someone off right away. Some of our strongest matches have come from couples that we initially had to talk into going on a second date.
Keep Conversations Light
We’ve talked about the opposite end of this spectrum: oversharing. You don’t want to share too much too soon, but you also don’t want to avoid meaningful conversations that occur naturally. As the relationship progresses, you should feel comfortable opening up about more sensitive topics. This includes things like family goals, career dreams, and wishes for the future.
Imagine investing months into someone only to find out your goals for the future couldn’t be more opposite. You want to get married and raise a family, but she doesn’t want marriage or children.
By not defining the relationship and communicating your needs, you run the risk of wasting a lot of time dating people who aren’t a viable match. Executive Matchmakers helps weed out deal breakers so this doesn’t happen.
Be Your Best Self
We’re taught to be on our best behavior in all new relationships, and it’s true—to an extent. On a first date, at a new job, or even with a budding friendship, it’s always important to put your best foot forward.
As Miranda Lambert put it, Hide your crazy and start acting like a lady.
But there comes a time in every new relationship, where both parties have to be vulnerable, let their guard down, and show their flaws. If this doesn’t occur, the connection will remain in surface-level acquaintanceship territory rather than growing into something deeper.
Often in new relationships, people will behave how they think their partner wants them to behave. This leads to a myriad of problems.
If you’re not behaving as you normally would, your partner doesn’t truly get to know you. She may fall in love with a false version of you. This often leads her to a sense of feeling defrauded. And you’re left feeling as if your partner never truly knew you after all.
In trying to be everything your partner wants, you may lose your sense of self.
Communicating one’s needs, expectations, and boundaries is key for building the foundation of any new relationship.
You’re finishing up dessert on your third date, when your partner suggests a bar across town for a nightcap. You know you have an important meeting first thing in the morning, but you don’t want to upset her, so you say yes. Unfortunately, while you’re sharing a drink an hour later, the mood has shifted. You’re in your head, stressed out about the morning, and constantly checking your watch. Your date studies you closely for some sign of what caused the flip after dinner, but ultimately she’s left clueless.
If you had set boundaries and explained why you needed to go home after dessert, you could have both ended the night on a high note, excited for your next date.
What is the absolute worst dating advice you’ve ever gotten? Just remember, not all advice is good advice! When in doubt, ask your Matchmaker.
Relationship Resolutions for the New Year
I think it is safe to say we are all more than ready to say goodbye to 2020. But now is the time to really reflect on your year and start to develop a plan for 2021 and beyond. How do you want to work on yourself? What sort of relationship resolutions do you want to put out into the universe?
The only true control we have in this world is over ourselves and our actions. You can’t change other peoples’ behaviors—only your own. Therefore, any real change starts from within.
Whether you want to develop a healthier work/life balance, start a new exercise regimen, or meet the love of your life next year, you need to start putting in the work today.
Improve Upon Yourself & Good Things Will Follow
When was the last time you treated yourself to a #NewYearNewMe makeover? Updating your style and trying out a new look is a great way to instantaneously give your self-confidence and self-esteem a boost.
Everyone feels better after a fresh haircut or a day at the spa.
This is not all about physical beauty or conforming to society’s standards, it is about doing something for yourself that makes you feel good in your own body, even if that’s just a massage.
Self-care is a continuous cycle of positivity everyone should make time for in their life. When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel better about yourself, it can have positive impacts on every aspect of your life.
The Law of Attraction is a theory that says,
We attract that which we give off.
It is sort of a reverse Golden Rule. If you put good things out into the universe, good things will come to you in return. And as I stated earlier, you can only control yourself, so it’s up to you whether you give off positivity or negativity.
If you’re done reading The Five Love Languages already, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, is a great book for anyone interested in diving deeper into the Law of Attraction.
One of the key points of the Law of Attraction is manifesting the things you want out of life. This can be done in any way that works for you: meditation, prayer, vision boards, spreadsheets, you can even do it in the shower or during a run.
Relationship Resolutions
Is it your heart’s desire to fall in love this year?
If so, it’s time to get busy. In addition to taking the practical steps, like hiring a matchmaker, and creating a dating profile, you should start manifesting love right now.
Put real time and effort into thinking about what you want out of a relationship. What type of partner do you want? And more importantly, what type of partner do you want to be?
Write it all down. Make a list. Develop a mantra or a mission statement. Put your goals on your bathroom mirror or map it out on your office whiteboard. Post it somewhere so you will see it multiple times a day even if it’s only for a few moments.
During these manifestation exercises, think critically about the dating criteria you have followed in the past. Have any of those things changed? Are you open to dating someone with children now even if you weren’t when you were younger?
Examine all of your deal breakers. Can you overcome any of them?
Instead of shutting yourself off to anyone shorter than six feet, focus on things like intellectual and emotional compatibility.
Take a deep look at your dating history, especially in the areas that you feel have failed.
Perhaps 2021 is the perfect time to put your dating life in the hands of a professional once and for all. We want to help you fix whatever is broken in your love life. Sometimes that means we will push you to try something new, because what you’ve been doing is not working. Trust that we always have your best interests at heart.
Studies show it takes at least three dates for the average person to feel comfortable enough to open up and show their true authentic self. This is why we always urge clients not to write someone off after the first date.
What are your Relationship Resolutions going into 2021? We would love to be part of your journey and help you reach all of your goals. What are you waiting for? Take the first step toward forever.