Emily Potter

They say time is the best gift you could ever give someone because you are essentially sharing a piece of your life with them that you can never get back. Seeing as how my primary Love Language is Quality Time, I tend to agree. So, how do you make time for a relationship when you’re being pulled in a hundred different directions?

We find time for the things that matter most to us in life. If you want to prioritize your relationship, you have to start finding time to focus on your partner. 

Our founder Charlee, wrote a piece for a magazine in 2008. Her advice was so timeless, we decided to bring it back in 2021. The four key components of a successful relationship are—play, participate, prioritize, and plan. 

Love is an actionable verb. You have to wake up every single day and choose to love your partner. Make her laugh. Plan things to make her feel appreciated. Make her a priority in your life. 

Experiencing new things together—places, food, art, culture, anything can help solidify the bond you have already created. Traveling together, sharing experiences, romantic moments, getting away from the daily grind—all of these things cause your brain to release the happy hormones.

But we’ve all heard disaster stories of couples who broke up in every country on their European trip or fought their way across the Caribbean islands. How do you keep your romantic rendezvous from being a trip of terror?

The world of dating has changed rapidly in recent decades. If you’re recently divorced or widowed after a long marriage, things will look a lot different to you than the last time you were trying to woo a woman. So, we thought it would be helpful to develop a Dictionary of Dating with all the new terms from dating apps to hookup culture and everything in between. 

Dr. Gary Chapman, creator of the Five Love Languages, also co-authored a book titled When Sorry Isn’t Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love with Dr. Jennifer Thomas. In it, they present Five Apology Styles: Expressing Regret, Accepting Responsibility, Genuinely Repenting, Making Restitution, and Requesting Forgiveness. 

Chapman and Thomas suggest we rely on the Five Love Languages to make restitution by assuring the injured party of our love for them.

For instance, if your partner’s Love Language is Gifts and her Apology Style is Making Restitution—consider making flowers part of your apology. 

Every time you pick up your phone it’s a gamble. Ask your friends, I guarantee they have at least one dating app disaster story. Did you know that one third of online daters have never met anyone IRL that they matched with on the apps?

The screen gives users a sense of anonymity, which often leads to them acting out in ways they probably wouldn’t otherwise. There’s a certain level of anonymity to dating apps. Most of the time, you’re swiping, messaging, and meeting complete strangers. You likely don’t have common friends and run in very different circles.

Did you know that each time your pings, your brain gives you a small hit of dopamine? That means physiologically, people get addicted to dating apps because they are designed to get you hooked in the same way addictive substances do. Are you addicted to dating apps?

One study showed the average Tinder user spends over 90 minutes per day swiping and chatting in the app. Another report says people spend about 10 hours per week on dating apps. 

Are you addicted to dating apps, but looking for a better way to meet like-minded individuals? We can help you kick the habit.

So you’ve been ghosted...or have you? Suddenly your phone pings. Why is SHE texting you?! You haven’t spoken in months, after she just dropped off the face of the earth and stopped returning your calls. Welcome to the wonderful world of Zombieing.

What is Zombieing, you ask? Well, remember a few months ago when we discussed ghosting? It’s exactly like that except one step further. It can also be referred to as Haunting.

It usually starts as a toe-dip interaction, like a text. Zombies rarely risk jumping into the deep end of the commitment pool, because they already feel a sense of shame for their bad behavior. They knew it was wrong, and they ghosted you anyway.

If she hasn’t risen from the dead with full remorse and redemption in mind, maybe let her sit with that shame for a bit longer.

Being even marginally aware of body language, can lead to better connections and conversations. Some suggest as much as 80% of human communication is non-verbal.

Although it may be difficult to decode, there is good news. Body language is a more honest form of communication than verbal because so much of it is subconscious. Even the best poker faces can’t control micro-expressions. 

She’s leaning in; that’s good. But is she trying to get closer to you or just the charcuterie board?

Fellas, we already know that women have better intuition, so learning to read your date, may take some practice. 

It’s true that crossed arms and fidgeting can be a sign someone is disinterested, angry, or closed off. But it’s important to take the entire situation into account.

Is this your first date? It could just be a sign of anxiety. Did you cross your arms first? Perhaps they’re mirroring you; in this case it could indicate increased interest. 

Positive non-verbal communication can include blushing, fumbling over her words, playing with her hair, fiddling with her clothes, or touching her lips. Getting tongue-tied often means one is nervous and trying to make a good impression.

Did you know hair follicles release pheromones?

Pay attention to whether she opens her body toward you or away. Subtle touches are great signs. If she slaps your knee when you make her laugh, or touches your arm for emphasis, you can bet she’s into you. 

Have you ever wondered why we, as a culture, celebrate literary relationships like Romeo and Juliet despite their false first impressions, heinous miscommunication, tragic endings, and/or obvious character flaws?

I’ve spent some time in quarantine re-reading some of those (in)famous love stories, and I think it’s time we really examine the ins and outs of the relationships society has put on a pedestal. Is accidental double suicide really the ideal romance? I think we can do better.

Pride and Prejudice is one of my favorite works of classic literature. Not just for the complex web of interpersonal relations, which we will dive into momentarily, but for the continuous lesson of false first impressions.

Spoiler Alert—I don’t know if this needs to be said for a book that is nearly 225 years old, but just in case.